Last night I was in a fancy
restaurant on the island of Alameda (adjacent to Oakland), hosting a
fundraising dinner for the school assemblies team that I am a part of. No more
than 20 minutes away, Andre Iguadola was hitting a game-winning jumper to give
the Warriors a one-point lead over the Thunder. It kind of felt like the time a
friend invited me to fly out to New York and spend the weekend with him, paid
for completely by his family…and my mom said no. End of story. This morning, as
I was perusing the shelves at a comic book store here on the island, the local
news informed me that Make A Wish had turned San Francisco into Gotham City to
fulfill one kid’s dream. San Francisco is about 15 minutes away from Alameda,
yet here I am writing this instead of cheering on Bat Kid. What would you call
this? Historic Proximity Syndrome? Always right around the corner from a great
event but never witnessing it. I have Historic Proximity Syndrome.
As you probably know, Ed Reed was
released by the Houston Texans a few days ago. Ever since that moment, I had
been excitedly awaiting the announcement of his arrival in New England. I mean
it was perfect, Ed Reed is one of Belicheck’s all-time favorite players and our
secondary has suffered some injuries, so what’s the problem? Well, yesterday
morning I thought that moment had finally come when, while watching NFL
Network, I saw “ts reach greement with sa Ed Reed” (the TV was on a weird zoom
setting). Assuming my dream had come true, I hopped onto Twitter only to
discover that he had been signed by the jets. The Jets?! I felt like I had been
eyeing a taken girl for years, heard that she finally dropped her loser
boyfriend, and then got a text from her saying that she was now dating the only
person on Earth I would never ever want to see her with. Tragic.
You’ve probably noticed by now that
this isn’t going to be a regular picks column, and you’d be right to assume
this, because it isn’t. Of course, we do still have to address the games this
Sunday, so let’s get to it. Per usual, the projected winners will be listed in bold. Sponsored by the Redding Report
Crystal Ball of Athletic Clairvoyance©
Ø The Titans really made me believe in them last night, but the Colts had
luck on their side. No, literally, Luck plays for the Colts. See what I did
there?
Ø The Jets have a strong defense that can contain CJ Spiller, which will
shut down the entire Bills offense. Plus, Ed Reed will be lurking in that
secondary (drowning in my own tears)
Ø They may have stopped Cincinnati from
completely dominating the AFC North, but the Ravens are still an afterthought.
Despite losing Charles Tillman for the season, the Bears shouldn’t have much trouble adding another W to their
calendar.
Ø I fully expect the Bengals to win this Sunday, although it
won’t be easy against a Cleveland team that features one of the league’s best
defenses. If the Browns do pull the upset, things are going to get real iffy in
the AFC North.
Ø I’m going to give the Texans the edge at home, and that’s
about 99% because of Case Keenum. With a gunslinger mentality that Matt Schaub
never had, Keenum has continued the work started in his high-scoring Houston U
days. Without a consistent running game or effective o-line, Oakland may not
win again this season.
Ø I’m expecting two touchdowns just
from the Cardinals’ defense in this
one. The Jags may have avoided 0-16, but they’re still the picture of failure
in the NFL.
Ø This game could be closer than you
and I think it’ll be, but ultimately I see the Redskins winning this one. Somehow Philly is still going to win the
division, though.
Ø After seeing the Patriots go to town
on Pittsburgh’s defense a couple of weeks ago, I lost all confidence in that
unit. Detroit’s diverse attack may
put up 60 on these guys.
Ø Neither Tampa Bay nor Atlanta has exactly been experiencing a dream season,
but I think Mike Glennon wants to convince Arthur Blank that he doesn’t need to
look for a QB come May.
Ø I’m very wary of this matchup, but San Diego should win this one if they
can avoid shooting themselves in the foot for at least three quarters. If
Rivers can give the ball to an actual running back on the goal line and get the
ball to Keenan Allen, the Chargers will leave Miami with smiles on their faces.
Ø I’m sure everyone remembers the epic
playoff game these two teams had back in Alex Smith’s day, but the Saints and 49ers are different teams
now. Namely, the San Francisco offense in struggling and New Orleans is
featuring a real-life defense. A great day for fantasy owners all around.
Ø The Giants have always been the scum
of the earth in my opinion, so there’s really no chance that I would ever pick
them. On a side note, today the Packers were
mentioned as “A.J. Hawk and the Packers” in a DirecTV promo. How much did his
mom pay for that one, I wonder?
Ø Football’s Messiah Russell Wilson and the Seahawks should have no problem dispatching
the Vikings, but it may be that much more fun to watch if Percy Harvin can
adjust to this team quickly enough. Also, Seattle’s run defense hasn’t been at
their best this season; look for A.P. to have a great day despite the loss.
Ø Remember when the Packers were having
a juggernaut season and somehow the lowly Chiefs
managed to beat them? The KC defense is built to stop pass-happy teams, and
it’s even better now than it was then. Not to mention that they love pressuring
the quarterback and Peyton Manning can barely walk right now. Mark my words,
the Chiefs will be 10-0.
Ø Okay, I realize that this Monday
night matchup with the Panthers seems to be the perfect setup for a Patriots
loss, but consider this: how many times in the past few years have you doubted
New England? Of those times, how often did you end up feeling foolish for doing
so? You can’t stop destiny folks. #PatriotsVSSeahawksSuperBowl48
And that’s it for this week’s picks,
my friends. Only a few more weeks and every team will be playing every week
again! Because you were wondering, our picks record is now 87-64 following
quite a bad week of picks by our staff (don’t worry, still just me). Anyway,
did you hear that Adrian Peterson said he doesn’t want to be traded out of
Minnesota? That’s like me saying “No, I think I’m going to ride Brian Leonard
for the rest of the season, you can keep Jamaal Charles”. FOOLISH. Hey,
speaking of fantasy football…
Fantasy Sob Story of the Week:
I was in first place, you guys. First
place in my Pride league. With the same record as my Broncos-fanatic buddy
Chris and the tie breaker from an early-season matchup, I was sitting pretty
atop the standings. Then the Broncos played against the Chargers, and because
Chris has about player on their roster, I fell back to number two. But let me
tell you, it was so much fun at the top. Hopefully, I’ll be back soon.
Expert Fantasy Football Advice from a
Fantasy Football Expert
·
If
you’ve been enjoying the production of the KC defense all season, now is not
the time to turn tail. Peyton Manning is intimidating, sure, but this defense
was built to stop him and his evil minions.
·
I
checked the waivers in my league last week, and somehow nobody had Tavon
Austin. Somehow, despite being eighth on the waiver order, I won that claim.
Austin is a good flex if the other guys in your league are equally as
oblivious.
·
We
all know that Trent Richardson is pretty much worthless, so go ahead and pick
up Donald Brown. The Colts will be leaning on him more to try and keep a
balance to control the flow of games more.
·
I
spotlighted Kenny Stills a few weeks back, but in case you forgot, Drew Brees
loves throwing deep to this guy. Once again, DREW BREES LOVES THROWING TO THIS
PERSON.
·
You’ve
heard of Bobby Rainey, right? Just kidding, I know you haven’t. However, if you’re
hurting for a flex man, don’t be afraid to consider Tampa Bay’s newest
off-the-bench spark plug.
Before we wrap things up here, allow
me to introduce a new section that we’ll be running over the next few weeks,
Mission Bay’s Road to CIF. This will be a focus on this football team of my
alma mater, Mission Bay High, as they try to make their good on their 9-1
regular season with a CIF Championship. The Bucs got off to a good start
tonight with a 41-16 win over Brawley. With plenty of points through the air,
Mission Bay made sure Brawley never had a chance. They will face a tough test
next week when they face Madison, their only loss during the regular season.
Can they overcome this division rival on the way to a championship? We’ll find
out next week, folks! Go Bucs!
And there we have it, everything you
wanted to know and probably much, much, more. Will our picks hold up? Will Bobby
Rainey carry you to a win this Sunday? Does Adrian Peterson really not want to
be traded? (Because I mean, really? C’mon). Feel free to share any thoughts
with us in the comments section or on Twitter at @GSRudy. Until next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment