On Sunday, as the Seahawks were
completely dismantling the Broncos (and having fun doing it), I came to a
startling realization. The Super Bowl is the last football game of the season,
after which we have to wait another six months before we get to watch football
again. Now, I’m sure you already knew that, but sitting there on Sunday
laughing at Peyton Manning’s increasingly red forehead that fact hit me like a
ton of bricks. I’m holding back tears even as I write this. So let’s send
football off the right way and prepare for seven months of other sports (you’re
not a sport, baseball) that aren’t nearly as important.
As far as the Super Bowl goes, I know
most of you were probably very disappointed in what you watched. In the past
decade we’ve become accustomed to wild finishes in the Super Bowl, close games
decided by last-second field goals, and the greatness of Tom Brady. Sorry, I can’t
seem to turn my bias off today. Anyway, it goes without saying that everyone
was expecting quite a show from the Broncos and Seahawks (except for me saying
it just now). Be that as it may, let me explain why that 43-8 decimation was
just as good as any nail-biter we’ve seen in the past.
Reason #1- Peyton Manning’s forehead.
All season long, while Manning was running up the score on hapless defenses and
breaking records, we rarely got to see what has become known as the “Manning
Face”. The expectations for what Peyton would do in the big game couldn’t have
mounted any higher, which made the fall that much more enjoyable to watch.
Manning’s frustration with his receivers, offensive line, and life in general
on Sunday seemed to directly affect the state of his forehead, and by the third
quarter I was taking any bets on what color it would actually be by the final
whistle. This was a great way to cap off a season of listening to Manning being
crowned as the greatest QB ever.
Reason #2- Defense wins
championships. This classic adage has become somewhat cliché in the football
world, but Sunday proved that it still holds true. The league’s top offense
managed a barn-burning 8 points against the best defense we’ve seen in a long
time. With elite players at every level, the Seattle defense had little trouble
shutting down Manning and his bevy of his Pro Bowl receivers. I happen to be
one of those weirdos that loves to watch a great defensive performance, and
Seattle provided that and then some. Considering that a week ago I announced
that my position of choice was “Earl” when playing indoor soccer, you can
understand my excitement. The Seahawks reminded us all that a group of tough,
determined men on the defense will always be the key to the game. Plus, we were
all treated to Kam “Bam Bam” Chancellor doing what he does best (apologies for the low quality):
Reason #3- Welcome to our latest
installment of “I Told You So”, where I’m right…AGAIN. All season long, and
even before that, I told anyone who would listen that Our Football Messiah
Russell Wilson would win the Super Bowl. It seemed like everyone had a “yeah,
but…” when it came to the Seahawks. Their receiving corps isn’t that good;
Russell Wilson can’t win games with his arm, their offense crumbles when
Marshawn Lynch doesn’t play well, etc. blah blah blah. Well, you forgot one
thing: Jesus Christ. Now, I’m not saying that Jesus has or ever will concern
himself with what happens in the NFL, I’m just saying that Russell Wilson loves
Jesus and he just won the Super Bowl. And that’s pretty cool.
Reason #4- A traitor got his due. You
may have forgotten, but Wes Welker isn’t the first jerk to switch sides in the
Brady-Manning rivalry. Ahead of the 2006 season, legendary Patriots kicker Adam
Vinatieri bolted to Indianapolis in free agency, at a time when the rivalry was
at an all-time high. That postseason, Vinatieri played against his old team
with the Super Bowl on the line, a game in which Peyton Manning led the Colts
back from a 21-point deficit before going on to beat Chicago in the Super Bowl.
In a recent interview, Vinatieri expressed his disappointment in being booed
every time he’s been back to Gillette Stadium. Suck it up, Adam. You're the one who betrayed us. This
offseason, Welker followed Vinatieri’s (and Benedict Arnold’s) footsteps by
signing with the Broncos. When the Broncos and Patriots faced off in this year’s
AFC Championship, Welker intentionally (I don’t care what he says) took out top
Patriots corner Aqib Talib. In the Super Bowl, it just so happened that Richard
Sherman was injured on a similar play when he was hit by (who else?) Wes
Welker. Luckily, Sherman wasn’t seriously hurt, but he did hurt his ankle at a
later time in the game. Vinatieri was rewarded with a Super Bowl ring for his
treachery, but Wes Welker got nothing, and that warms my bitter little heart.
This could go on forever, so let me
wrap this up with a few more things that were great about this Super Bowl.
Russell Wilson was the first black quarterback since Doug Williams to win the
Super Bowl, which makes him only the second to do so. We also got to see Percy
Harvin, who was hurt pretty much all season, generally dominate whenever he
touched the ball. I thought he’d be the MVP, but we’ll gripe about that later. Some
history for you: Super Bowl blowouts used to be common, and for 13 years in the
80’s and 90’s, the NFC was on the winning side of every one. Did Russell Wilson’s
squad just take the AFC back to the dark ages? We’ll soon find out.
You may or not have watched the NFL
Honors (I didn’t) the night before the Super Bowl, but I’m sure you’re aware
that various awards are handed out at the end of every NFL season. I was very
disappointed by many of the awards this year, so I am now going to complain
about said awards.
Ø Offensive Rookie of the Year- Eddie
Lacy
Ø Who had my vote: Keenan Allen
Ø Once Keenan Allen came into the
Chargers’ starting lineup, it became increasingly clear that he was something
special. As the season continued, Allen had five 100-yard games and contributed
8 touchdowns, not to mention almost single-handedly leading San Diego to a
comeback win against Denver in the playoffs (2 more touchdowns in that game)
Ø Defensive Rookie of the Year- Sheldon
Richardson
Ø Who had my vote- Kiko Alonso, Logan
Ryan
Ø Sheldon Richardson played a big role
in a resurgent (but still painfully inconsistent) Jets defense that excelled at
stopping the run this year, but Alonso pitched in 159 tackles, 1 forced fumble,
2 fumbles recovered, 2 sacks, and 4 interceptions in Buffalo. What more could
he have done? Meanwhile, Ryan stepped up when injuries depleted New England’s
defense, snatching 5 interceptions and scoring two touchdowns of his own.
Ø Defensive Player of the Year- Luke Keuchly
Ø Who had my vote: Navorro Bowman, Earl
Thomas, Robert Mathis
Ø There were several legitimate
candidates for DPOY this season, but somehow Keuchly was selected. Correct me
if I’m wrong, but making a lot of tackles doesn’t qualify you for the award. Especially
not when Robert Mathis forced 8 fumbles, Earl Thomas anchored the best defense
in the league, and Navorro Bowman outshined his more famous partner in crime,
Patrick Willis. Keuchly’s claim to fame? 24 tackles in one game and the most
egregious holding in recent memory
Ø Super Bowl MVP- Malcolm Smith
Ø Who had my vote: Who didn’t?
Ø This isn’t a complaint, rather an acknowledgment
of an amazing team effort. Every Seahawk contributed so well, I had no idea who
would win that truck at the end of the night. At least four players could have
deservedly been selected. Ultimately, Malcolm Smith’s interception, touchdown,
recovered fumble, and 10 tackles got him the nod.
Here’s something you probably forgot
happened this season:
Here’s something else you probably
forgot about:
Remember this?
How about this? (You probably tried to forget this)
I couldn’t send football off without
recalling some great moments from the past six months, which I could honestly
do all day long. Before we go, why don’t I make some radical predictions for
next season? That way you can think about them all offseason and I’ll have an
amazing “I Told You So” to write later on. Here goes: The Patriots and Seahawks
will face off in the Super Bowl, The Lions and Eagles will both make it into
the Divisional Round of the playoffs, Earl Thomas will win DPOY, Adrian
Peterson will eclipse 2,500 yards rushing if Minnesota signs Tim Tebow to be
their starting QB. Okay okay, watch this video too:
Last but not least, I just want to leave you
with this image, because it’s amazing. By the way, it’s officially basketball
season, which means you can watch things like this
happen almost every night
until the middle of the summer. And yes, the Heat will three-peat.
So long, friends. Be strong until football
returns.
