So, what did you guys think? The
first half of our Poetry Preview was pretty epic, huh? Well I sure hope you
answered yes because the second half is about to kick off and this train is
showing no signs of stopping! But alas, my people, I have betrayed you. In the
introduction to this revolution I promised sonnets, haikus, and much more. However,
while I wrote a stirring ode to the Patriots, not a haiku was written in our
AFC preview. In order to redeem myself I shall write a haiku for every single
NFC team, no matter how stumped I become. (But Gyasi, isn’t that technically
just making less work for yourself? Haikus only have three lines) Shut up, you!
The art of haiku was a challenge reserved for only the most brilliant minds in
ancient Japan. It is an honor to bear this duty. Should I fail, I will commit
seppuku.
Before we get to all that Hidden
Dragon stuff, let’s check in for the latest news around the NFL. Brian Hoyer
was officially named Cleveland’s Week 1 starter. That means Holly, who drafted
Johnny Manziel in the 12-team fantasy league of mine, either wasted a pick or secretly
has the ultimate sleeper to get through the playoffs. It’s not the end of the
world, people. Manziel just wasn’t ready. Give the kid some time.
Elsewhere in the AFC North, the
Bengals announced that Geno Atkins will start in their game against the
Cardinals this Sunday. Geno’s back, my friends. If Atkins can get back to full
strength in the next two weeks then Cincinnati’s defense will be in contention
for the best unit in the league.
Still in the AFC North, Le’Veon Bell
and LeGarrette Blount were arrested together for marijuana possession on
Wednesday. Their punishments are still forthcoming, but the duo was able to
play in Pittsburgh’s Thursday night matchup with the Eagles. Former Steeler
Isaac Redman announced his retirement this morning, so the team will be in
quite a bind should Bell and Blount have to miss significant time.
On Tuesday I drafted my fantasy team,
Prison Todd’s Squad. I had the last pick in a snake format, which means that I would
pick last, then first in the next round, then wait two whole rounds and have
another back-to-back. I may have panicked here and there, but I believe our
draft was pretty successful. Boasting players like the Immortal Tom Brady and
breakout rookie Keenan Allen, PTS is heading to the Ball is Life Championship.
Alright, are you ready?? I know I am!
The stakes are pretty high so let’s get into it, the first ever Redding Report
NFC Poetry Preview! I know most of you have drafted your fantasy teams or will
be drafting very soon, so I’ll try to focus on sleepers that you can find after
your rosters have been filled.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers may have more than a few breakout stars
this season, but their best secret weapon for your fantasy team might be their
defense. With stars like Gerald McCoy and All-Pro Lavonte David, the young Bucs
defense has a knack for getting their hands on the ball, whether it is by
forcing fumbles or snatching interceptions. With safety Dashon Goldson joining
Mark Barron in the secondary, expect this unit to be even more productive in
2014. Coach Lovie Smith has called Doug Martin his “bell cow”, so rest assured
if you were worried about Martin losing carries this season.
NFC South is tough
Will great defense be
enough?
Lavonte
thinks so
If you’ve been keeping up with the Atlanta Falcons on Hard Knocks,
then you’ve probably heard the name Devonta Freeman. The rookie running back
from Flo-- Florida State (sorry, just threw up in my mouth a little bit having
to type that) has exceeded expectations right off the bat this summer. After Steven
Jackson’s uncharacteristically mediocre season in 2013 his future has become
increasingly unclear, meaning Freeman could be Atlanta’s starting back sooner
than anyone thought. He’s been described by coaches as “hard to keep off the
field”, so if you don’t draft Freeman, keep your eye on his stats before the
waiver wire frenzy starts.
Failure surprised them
A lightning-fast fall from
grace
Can you
redeem, Matt?
Even though the Carolina Panthers climbed atop the NFC South thanks to
winning with a gambling offense last season, their WR situation is looking very
bleak. The backfield, however, is set to be a dynamic group. Running back
DeAngelo Williams is healthy and he’ll have plenty of room to run with
defenders focusing on containing Cam Newton. A word of caution to this tale:
should Mike Tolbert poach goal-line carries, your fantasy team will fail.
Cam is electric
Defense, release the Kraken
Riverboat Ron
smiles
It’s business as usual for the New Orleans Saints who are
poised to have yet another high-flying offensive unit. Wide receiver Kenny
Stills, a talented rookie who got a few opportunities late last season, has
been held out of most of training camp and the preseason with a quad injury. Ideally,
the Saints want to use him on the outside this season, but until he returns,
rookie Brandin Cooks has been impressing the coaching staff. Saints receivers
are hard to depend on because Drew Brees spreads the ball around so efficiently,
but should you somehow get your hands on Jimmy Graham don’t let him go for
anything.
No more dunks, Jimmy
Sean Payton has Super Bowl
dreams
Go take the
South back
Pretty good so far, huh? If I get any
better at writing haikus I might have to become a samurai, I’m telling you.
Shall we explore the NFC East? The Washington
Redskins have had plenty to worry about this offseason with RGIII recovering
from injury and the entire sports world questioning whether their team name is
acceptable. Alfred Morris has had an iffy preseason, but don’t give up on him
just quite yet. However, Washington’s real fantasy value lies in the receiving
corps. Desean Jackson and Andre Roberts came over in the offseason to form a
dynamic group of receivers along with Pierre Garcon and Santana Moss. Jackson
and Garcon will likely be the main focus of defenses from week to week, so look
out for Andre Roberts to benefit from the extra space and eat up the middle of
the field.
Is our name racist?
It won’t matter on the field
Protect
Robert’s knees
This organization does not condone
any affiliation with, or support of, the new york giants football club. For
this reason, we will regretfully have to omit them from this and any future
reports filed under the Redding Report name.
Sorry about that. The boss REALLY
doesn’t like the (name omitted). That’s all just legal who’sitwhat’sit. Anyway,
the Philadelphia Eagles added
some important pieces to their lightning-fast offense (still not as fast as New
England’s offense) and they looked to be in impeccable shape Thursday night against
the Steelers. Rookie receiver Jordan Matthews has been the talk of training
camp all summer long. Although Riley Cooper, who broke out with 835 yards and 8
touchdowns last season, is entrenched at the WR 2 position, Chip Kelly will
find plenty of ways to use Matthews in the passing game this season. He’s a good
3 or 4 WR option for your fantasy team.
Chip is a mad man
But there is one crazier
They really
got Sproles??
Mark my words, folks. This is the
year of the Dallas Cowboys receiver.
Dez Bryant has been put in triple coverage by many defenses and still manages
to come up with catch after catch. Second-year man Terrance Williams, who caught
five touchdown passes in his rookie season, has been solid in training camp and
is now a lock to line up opposite Bryant every week. On top of that, slot
receiver Cole Beasley will get more opportunity in the middle of the field now
that Miles “Lost in the Lights” Austin is out of town. Fantasy owners, you can’t
really go wrong with these guys as long as Tony Romo is healthy. If the receivers
are producing the way they’re projected to, Demarco Murray will be enjoying
plenty of defenses with six defensive backs and few men in the box. Dallas’
offense should be the gift that keeps on giving this season.
Jerry World shines bright
Romo is a gleaming knight
Give Dez the
damn ball
The NFC North, though not exactly a
powerhouse division, has been among the most competitive and dramatic divisions
in recent years. With the Lions, Packers, and Bears all fighting for playoff
spots and the Vikings trying not to get in Adrian Peterson’s way, there’s never
a shortage of intrigue up north.
The Minnesota Vikings won’t have many fantasy opportunities
besides the guy in your league lucky enough to land AP, but don’t completely
overlook them. (Go ahead and overlook the quarterbacks though. No matter who
wins the job, you won’t want them on your team.) The Vikes are about to unleash
one of the league’s most dangerous offensive weapons in Cordarelle Patterson.
Patterson is a threat to line up on the outside, in the slot, in the backfield,
and even as a return man. Minnesota may not win very many games this season,
but their ability to use Patterson in almost every way imaginable will give
them a fighting chance.
All Day Peterson
He is basically the team
Oh, and
Patterson
As inconsistent as they have been in
the past, the Detroit Lions are
firmly in the NFC playoffs race. For now, anyway. More important than that, however,
is that they have plenty of pieces to keep your team in the playoffs race. Super-human
receiver Calvin Johnson will have real help in the passing game for the first
time in his career. With Golden Tate coming over from the Seahawks, teams will
have to account for him on every play. That duo will be aided in the short game
by rookie tight end Eric Ebron who has been praised by coaches since he first
walked in Detroit’s facility. On the ground, Reggie Bush and Joique Bell combine
to form a fast and powerful attack that will keep linebackers reeling and open even
more space for the receivers to work. If Matt Stafford can stay healthy
throughout the season, Detroit’s offense should be among the most potent in the
league.
Stafford, the new Layne?
Megatron’s glad that Tate
came
Detroit’s not
so bad
The Green Bay Packers are something like a fantasy well that
never runs dry. No matter who leaves the team or gets hurt, there’s always
someone who steps up and makes plays. Greg Jennings, Jordy Nelson, Randall Cobb,
even the most talented receivers are almost expendable because Aaron Rodgers
throws touchdowns as if he’s playing in his backyard. This season you can count
on Nelson and Cobb in the 1 or 2 receiver spot and pick up Jarrett Boykin off
of the waiver wire to fill the flex position. Green Bay’s got you covered in
the backfield as well, as reigning Offensive Rookie of the Year Eddie Lacy
should be even more productive after a year in the Packers’ system.
Aaron can’t be stopped
Nelson has flypaper hands
Fear that
Lambeau field
Although the Chicago Bears have made a habit of conceding the division
crown to Green Bay in excruciating ways, I believe that they’ll be the NFC
North champs when the dust settles this season. To support electric running back
Matt Forte the Bears acquired Ka’deem Cary. Cary was the nation’s leading
rusher as a senior at Arizona and has made the most of his touches in the preseason.
Keep an eye on him this season, you’ll probably end up scrambling to grab him
from the waiver wire. Their dynamic passing game can carry them with Jay Cutler,
Brandon Marshall, Martellus Bennett and Matt Forte, but Alshon Jeffery puts
them absolutely over the top. In his sophomore campaign, Jeffery had 1,421
yards and 7 touchdowns, with 5 games where had 100 yards or more. Chicago’s #2
receiver is sporting some of the best hands in the league right now and he’s
ready to wreak havoc all over the field with Brandon Marshall. In his rookie
year I could find Alshon on the waiver wire in any of my leagues. Last season I
could trade for him if I offered a pretty fair deal. This year, this is how a
conversation about Alshon Jeffery goes:
Cutler throws the ball
You don’t have to look to
know
B Marshall
caught it
The NFC West, or NFC’s Best, is home
to some of the best defensive units and backfields the NFL has to offer. Not to
mention the defending Super Bowl champion. This is the home stretch, people! Let’s
do it! The St Louis Rams have
been largely inconsistent on offense since Sam Bradford was drafted in 2010.
Bradford is often injured and the receiver situation has never been very
bright. Well prepare for all that to change! The Rams now have several big
targets in the passing game including Kenny Britt, who came over from
Tennessee, and Brian Quick. But the crown jewel of fantasy football in St Louis
is not a wide receiver, he’s in the backfield. Zac Stacy had 973 yards and 7
touchdowns as a rookie last year, a pleasant surprise for GMs like me who
plucked him off of the waiver wire. Stacy will continue to see the bulk of the
carries in St Louis, so draft him in the third or fourth round. He won’t be so
easy to stumble upon in his second season.
Rams won’t make playoffs
But they sure will have some
fun
Don’t get
hurt, Bradford
I did a crazy thing in my fantasy
draft this past Tuesday. I drafted Carson Palmer as my backup to Tom Brady, and
I felt good about it. Since he escaped exile in Oakland and joined the Arizona Cardinals, Palmer has
enjoyed a Kurt Warner-like resurgence. This is largely in part to Larry
Fitzgerald, one of the league’s three best receivers, and the talented young
gun Michael Floyd. Cardinals running back Andre Ellington will be a fantasy
steal this year, but Arizona’s hottest commodity is their defense. Patrick
Peterson, arguably the league’s best cornerback, leads a group that is adept at
shutting down both the run and passing game. Arizona plucked 20 interceptions
in 2013, and when second-year safety Tyrann Mathieu is healthy enough to return
to the field, they might have the #1 scoring defense in the league.
Kurt Warner is gone
But a new old man has come
Can he do
better?
Oh how the times, they are a-changing.
Two seasons ago I would have justified someone drafting the San Francisco 49ers defense as
early as the second round. I mean, they were just that good. But the secondary
has continued to weaken, highlighted by Donte W(Hitner) bolting to Cleveland this
offseason, and now the league’s best inside linebacker is recovering from
injury. That’d be Navorro Bowman, by the way, not Patrick Willis. The usually
dependable Frank Gore has seemed to be slowing down, but rookie Carlos Hyde is
ready to carry the load. He’ll need to prove himself against the NFC West
defensive gauntlet before I can recommend him as even a 2 back, but Hyde has
generated quite a buzz with his performances in training camp and preseason
action.
No more king defense
Colin will have to earn it
Harbaugh
struggle face
Last but not least, the Seattle Seahawks conclude our
analysis of the NFC. We all know by now that Beast Mode Lynch is going off of
the draft board in the first round, but now I give you a secret weapon: Robert
Turbin. The Seahawks are ready to give him an expanded role in this year’s
offense and he’s ready to lighten some of Lynch’s load. By picking up Turbin in
the fifth or sixth round you can snag yourself a reliable 2 or Flex back, and
you might get even more than you bargained for if the guy who drafts Lynch
wants to trade for injury insurance. As always, the league’s best defense will
be a valuable fantasy commodity as well. And don’t forget about Percy Harvin!
He’ll have to opportunity to play in all 16 games this season instead of
missing out on most of the action. Harvin will be used all over the field, in
addition to contributing in the return game.
Seahawks are the champs
They stomped all on the
Broncos
It still makes me laugh
There you have it, folks! Our first
ever Redding Report Poetry Preview is officially, entirely in the books! And I don’t
even have to stab myself in the stomach! I hope that you can snag some of these
fantasy sleepers for yourself. And if anyone else in your league reads my blog,
maybe just try to get them to skip this particular article. If you do choose to
take my advice then I’d love to hear about it! The comments section awaits you!
You’ll be hearing a lot more about my
personal team, Prison Todd’s Squad, throughout the season, so I’d love to hear
about yours too. If you’ve got any questions, opinions, or advice you want me
to drop on my readers, just email me at gyasi@ithinkbig.org
or hit me up on Twitter @GSRudy.
Until next time, my friends. Go watch
some preseason football!
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