Trap Games and a Shout Out to the Cardinals Defense: NFL Predictions for Week 6

I firmly believe that the Seattle Seahawks are the best, most complete team in the NFL. However, my faith in Football’s Messiah (Russell Wilson) was admittedly shaken this past Sunday when the Seahawks got, well, out-Seahawked by the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts, who completely ran through the 49ers earlier this season, were down early in the game, but stayed alive with special teams plays and general resiliency. Ultimately, it came down to Andrew Luck making plays when it counted and having a great passing day, uncharacteristically allowed by the Seahawks defense (receiver T.Y. Hilton had 140 yards and 2 touchdowns on my fantasy team’s BENCH!). Those things are usually typical of a Seattle comeback, like the one they engineered last week against the Texans. Did the Colts beat Seattle at their own game? Nobody beats Seattle at any game! Also, the Browns are sitting at the top of the AFC North. Somebody hold me. Projected winners in bold.

Thursday Night Football: Chicago Bears vs. New York Giants

This one is pretty cut and dry. The Giants can’t win a game (and will probably win three at the most) and Chicago, while not dominating the way some thought they’d be, has to be licking their chops waiting for this one. This will most likely be a big day for the Bears defense as well as Matt Forte and emerging receiver Alshon Jeffery. Also, between Jay Cutler’s sulking and Eli Manning’s kindergarten-esque tantrums, we’ll all win with the gifs coming from this game. Bears 42, Giants 13

Sunday Games:

Baltimore Ravens vs. Green Bay Packers

Baltimore surprised me with the close win over Miami last week, but I still can’t really tell what they’re all about. I think we all know that their chances improve drastically when Ray Rice is being fed, but they still don’t seem to understand that. On the other hand, Clay Matthews broke his thumb last week and won’t be back for at least a month. That means Flacco will have a little more time in the pocket to close his eyes and chuck the ball downfield. However, the Green Bay offense is a firing squad, so there’s that. Give me the Pack. Ravens 24, Packers 37

Buffalo Bills vs. Cincinnati Bengals

I’d call this one an easy win for Cincy, but I don’t trust them enough to make that call. Last week the Bengals defeated the Patriots (neither quarterback threw a touchdown! Not one!), but a week prior they were ousted by division rival Cleveland. The Bengals remind me of the Ravens of a few years ago, who would get up and play against good competition, but always seemed to play down to the level of a lesser team. However, these Bills shouldn’t be much of a threat with rookie quarterback E.J. Manuel calling the plays. Bills 10, Bengals 23

Cleveland Browns vs. Detroit Lions

Is it ridiculous that I want to take the Browns here? Both Detroit and Cleveland are 3-2 and sharing the lead in their respective divisions, the Lions looked harmless without Megatron last week. If he can’t go this week, they’re in serious trouble against a pretty stout Browns defense (Harry Potter endorsed). I’d hand this one to Cleveland if the Cleveland’s Savior-to-Jordan Cameron connection was still going strong, but reinstated starter Brandon Weeden knows just how to lose a NFL game. Browns 17, Lions 30

Houston Texans vs. St. Louis Rams

Houston has been embarrassed for the past two weeks, giving up the game to Seattle last-minute and being thoroughly blown out by the 49ers this past week. The Rams are riding high after a 34-21 victory over Jacksonville, but the fact that they even allowed 21 points to the Jaguars pretty much says it all. Houston is coming into this game with plenty of anger, and J.J. Watt (3.5 sacks so far) is ready to get after the quarterback. If you have any sort of faith, I suggest that you start a prayer group for Sam Bradford. Texans 33, Rams 16

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Oakland Raiders

AFC West matchups are never short on drama and exciting plays, if only because every team in this division hates the other three so much, and I don’t expect this game to be any different. Oakland is pretty much playing to stay ahead of San Diego in the division, but Kansas City needs to keep pace with the Broncos as they set fire to city after city. Terrelle Pryor has quickly become must-see TV (as predicted by yours truly), but the Kansas City defense is among the league’s best. Alex Smith has avoided turnovers so far this season, and that should continue if Raiders safety Tyvon Branch is still injured come Sunday. Chiefs 24, Raiders 17

Minnesota Vikings vs. Carolina Panthers

Nothing I can say will make this game interesting. Let’s just be honest. The Vikings are shaky at quarterback and the Panthers are still trying to figure out how to win close games like they were three years ago. However, if you’re into this sort of thing, Adrian Peterson will be running against a very stout Panthers defense that has only given up five touchdowns through five games. The Panthers are also seventh in the league rushing, which Minnesota’s defense is only going to improve. However, if Vikings safety Harrison Smith can keep Cam Newton from making big plays downfield, the Vikes will have a much better chance. They’re both 1-3 for good reason, so really anything could happen here. Vikings 13, Panthers 20

New Jersey Jets vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

It wasn’t very long ago that these two teams met up in the AFC Championship, now I’ll be surprised to see either squad in the playoffs at all. Pittsburgh has sucked at everything so far this season, but their running game got a boost from the return of LeVeon Bell last week. The jets just beat the Falcons on Monday Night Football, and it looks like Geno Smith might actually be a real quarterback, with help from that defense of course. I don’t see Pittsburgh’s passing attack being very effective against this jets defense, which will ultimately be their downfall. Chalk up another win for New Jersey as they keep pace in the AFC East, which by the way has three teams above the .500 mark. Not bad, huh? Jets 24, Steelers 16

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Philadelphia Eagles

This is a matchup of two teams that have been tremendously disappointing in these first five weeks. Philadelphia’s offense has been mediocre at best, posting their best performance against the Giants last week, which is the equivalent of answering the “bonus” question teachers put at the end of a test to boost the curve. Tampa’s defense has been great all season long, but their offensive struggles quickly sank the ship. With quarterback Skinny Josh Freeman now in Minnesota, it’ll be up to rookie Mike Glennon to save the Bucs’ season and possibly Greg Schiano’s job. Still, the Bucs don’t have Nick Foles and fantasy demi-god LeSean McCoy. Bucs 19, Eagles 31

Denver Broncos vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

Yes, somehow the Jags really made it onto Denver’s schedule. This is like Alabama playing against Georgia State, you know who’s going to win, you just wonder who allowed it to happen. The Jaguars are practically inviting teams into the end zone while they take Instagram photos. After an extremely emotional last-second win over the Cowboys last week, you might be screaming “it’s a trap!” like one Admiral Ackbar. However, the Broncos could sit out the first half of this game and still win by 30. Peyton Manning may have 50 touchdown passes by the end of this week, folks. The icing on top of this whole cake is the fact that these teams got into a littleTwitter beef this week, when Denver pointed out that they scored as many points last week as the Jags have scored all season. Broncos 72, Jaguars 3

Seattle Seahawks vs. Tennessee Titans

The Seahawks are hosting the Titans in their third AF South matchup in as many weeks. After engineering an exciting comeback victory over the Texans, Seattle couldn’t protect the lead they built over the Colts, finally losing their first game last week. I have no reason to believe that the Titans are capable of winning this game. Maybe if it wasn’t at Century Link Field, the NFL’s toughest stadium, maybe if Jake Locker was still starting for Tennessee and not injured maybe if the Seahawks were a lesser team. But alas, fate has not favored the Titans that way. With Ryan Fitzpatrick leading the Titans into the place where I’m pretty sure Russell Wilson is never going to lose, Richard Sherman and Earl Thomas are probably betting on who will nab more interceptions. Look for Bobby Wagner to keep Chris Johnson in check all day. Seahawks 27, Titans 10

San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals

This should actually be one of the best games of the day, and maybe the very best if you’re a big fan of defense like I am. Both the Cardinals and Niners are 3-2 and trying to catch up to Seattle for the division lead. With Colin Kaepernick not looking like the Greek hero he was last year and Arizona’s defense at the peak of dominance, this game will feature some hard hits if nothing else. A big storyline here is which linebacker will stand out, Patrick Willis (should he play), Navarro Bowman (my personal favorite), or Daryl Washington. The NFC West could pretty much make the entire Pro Bowl defense. Seriously. One last thought, will Tyrann Mathieu’s magical play-making ability come into play? I can’t wait for this game.  49ers 21, Cardinals 17

Dallas Cowboys vs. Washington Redskins

We’ve all been expecting RGIII’s play to get better eventually, but I don’t know if that happens this week. Dallas can get to the quarterback, which will spell doom for the Redskins if their quarterback can’t at least slide in the pocket, much less take off on a run. The Cowboys may not have the best secondary, but they were the first to intercept Peyton Manning this season, so there’s that. Washington’s only hope on defense is the pass rush from Ryan Kerrigan (5 sacks) and Brian Orakpo (3 sacks). If they can’t disrupt Tony Romo, he will pick apart their secondary. Rookie safety Bacarri Rambo will be huge in this game, because Dallas wants to throw and they want to throw NOW. Ultimately, Dallas will get the W and take control of the pathetic NFC East. Cowboys 34, Redskins 23

Monday Night Football: San Diego Chargers vs. Indianapolis Colts

If this were the Thursday night game, I would give San Diego the advantage. The Colts won a tough, close, emotional game over the Seahawks on Sunday and playing on a short week would have led them straight into a trap. However, after resting for a whole week, Indy will be fresh and ready to go. When it comes down to it, Philip Rivers has the propensity to gaffe late in games and Andrew Luck is just the opposite. Not to mention that Luck’s receiving corps is a little more talented that Phil’s, although Indy’s defense had better not lose track of Danny Woodhead or they’ll be in big trouble. The Chargers could make this a close game or get blown out, but I just don’t see them getting the win. Chargers 21, Colts 33

Game of the Week: New England Patriots vs. New Orleans Saints

This game could have major playoff implications down the road. Both of these teams would really appreciate some home-field advantage come January, and both may be able to get it, if only partially. The Saints offense has been flying high all season, and Aqib Talib can’t cover everyone. New England may call on rookie Jamie Collins to keep track of Jimmy Graham, but I’m not sure they’re really capable of keeping him out of the end zone. However, consider this: Rob Gronkowski is expected to make his return for the Patriots this week, which is a perfect setup for him to decimate the Saints defense and remind everyone who the league’s best tight end is, right in Jimmy Graham’s face. *Choir of fantasy owners rejoicing* I think each squad will leave Gillette Stadium 5-1. Patriots 34, Saints 30

Fantasy Football Advice from an expert on fantasy football:

·         Julio Jones is done for the season. Roddy has been shoddy this season. “Hey you! Can you catch? Go in at slot!” receiver Brian Robiskie isn’t exactly Jordy Nelson. You know who that leaves (usually wide open)? Tony Gonzalez. You’ll thank me later.

·         Tony Romo has looked to rookie receiver Terrance Williams again and again this season, and that probably won’t change soon with Dez Bryant drawing double and triple-team coverage every week. Williams should do nicely against Washington’s weak secondary.

·         Denver’s defense has shown the ability to take away the ball. Jacksonville’s offense has shown the amazing ability to give the ball way. At any time. In every way you could imagine. Need I say more?

Fantasy Triumph Story of the Week:

In my money league I had a fantasy heartbreak so tough to watch that I can’t even talk about it. Let’s just say it involves T.Y. Hilton, 30 points, and my bench. Instead, let’s focus on my Pride league, where I was matched up against my cousin this week. He left some not-so-nice messages on my Facebook wall and NFL.com projected him to absolutely kill me. When I checked the matchup on Sunday night, I saw that I was well ahead, thanks to 36 points from…the Arizona defense! Yes, the Cards produced seven sacks, three interceptions, one fumble forced, one fumble recovery, a safety, and only six points allowed. Your fantasy expert is in effect. I then left a message on his Facebook saying, “Shout out to the Cardinals defense!” I love my life.

There were a few crazy plays the Redding Report Crystal Ball of Athletic Clairvoyance© didn’t see coming, like the Ravens barely edging the Dolphins. By the way, remember last year when the Cardinals started the season 4-0 and then lost their next 11 games? Just asking, no particular reason why. We’re now sitting at a modest 45-36 for the season, but I’m pretty sure the Crystal Ball predicted all of this week’s game correctly so it’s not a problem. Remember, you can always reach us in the comments section or on Twitter (@GSRudy). Until next time!