I Told You So pt.II: The Victory Lap

First of all, let me apologize for being a day late with this. When you get to watch your favorite team repeat as champions, something inside of you detonates and turns you into a giddy, obnoxiously-positive individual with only moderate control of their physical expressions. Not to mention that this time last summer I was volunteering at a summer camp with no television, no phone, and no internet, meaning the only Finals experience I got was the Heat losing Game 1. So, as I watched the clock run down to 0.0 on Thursday night, I felt like this: 

And besides just feeling great on the inside, I wanted to give everyone the opportunity to share in my triumph, so I sprinted out of my friend’s house (where I was watching the game) and did two laps around his block, yelling “WE DID IT!” Nobody followed me, but that’s alright. I was flying too high to care (there’s a video of that too, on Vine. You can follow me at GRedd). And so, without further ado, welcome to “I Told You So” pt.II: The Victory Lap.

As you will recall if you read part one of “I Told You So” (and if you haven’t, why not??), I didn’t want to anger the karma council by gloating too early after Game 6. But now, the trophy is in hand, our rings are on the way, and I’m throwing caution to the wind! My first order of business? To address of all the haters who so happily lent their opinions over the course of the last season. And to you I say HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE WIN AGAIN. When will you get over your increasingly-unwarranted hate for LeBron James and the Heat? When will you accept your own team’s failures and deal with them rationally? If you answered never to one or both of those questions, just know that you’re in a long cycle of disappointment. It’s extremely unwise to oppose LeBron. Why? Because, if I may quote my all-time favorite movie, Hercules, “you can’t beat him, he has no weaknesses!” (except maybe Boris Diaw for some reason). Deal with that.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I want to speak to my fellow Heat fans. Rejoice! It was all worth it! I don’t know about you, but my biggest fear when LeBron made his Decision was that it wouldn’t be worth it. That this superstar would come in, bringing massive amounts of hate to our team and our beloved hero, D-Wade, and in the end it wouldn’t be worth it. We’d be left standing there with no trophies to show for it and the entire basketball world laughing at us. We may or may not three-peat next year, but I’m declaring this all worth it right now. To see Wade’s jersey number match his ring collection, for Haslem to be taken to the pinnacle three times over, even to watch Chalmers continue to shock us all and step up on the NBA’s biggest stage, it was worth it. And we’ll never forget these moments. So take it in, bask in it, and know that you are invincible until next October.

And now, an open letter to Mario Chalmers. Dear Mario, I’m sorry you have come under such constant criticism from everything to your style of play to your dance moves in the Miami Heat Harlem Shake video. It’s not fair. Heck, I even thought you had lost us the game at a few points on Thursday night (again, GRedd on Vine, @GSRudy on Twitter). But let’s face the facts, you had 20 points in that heart attack-waiting-to-happen Game 6, and last night you did this in Game 7 to remind us why you deserve what you’ve earned: 

So I just want to say thank you, Chalmers. Other fans may never appreciate you, but I see all of your hard work.

LeBron, I’m not going to include any of your highlights because at this point it’d really just be more of an indulgence, but you’ve brought your game to ridiculous new levels since joining the Heat. In that first year, I would always distinguish myself as a Heat fan, not a LeBron fan, adamantly denying that I was a part of your following. But now, I defend every slander of you I hear, and I openly support you at every opportunity. Why? Because this IS your team now. Dwyane will always be my favorite player and role model, but stewardship of this franchise has officially been passed to you. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it just fine.

And finally, Mr. Dwyane Wade. Or, I’m sorry, Three. Many people believe that you are a self-centered, whiny, cheap-shot-taking jerk. You know what I say to those people? He can’t hear you in the V.I.P. booth. You are the reason I ever sat down to watch a basketball game nine years ago, and you’re still the reason I always come back. Thanks for giving my dad a hometown team to be proud of. And thanks for still doing things like this: 

Enjoy it, Three. You’ve earned it. WE DID IT.